Spirals, bellydance and birth

I recently watched "Birth as We Know it", a beautiful Russian documentary on waterbirth in which the narrator talks briefly about "spiralling" one's hips during labor and touched on the existence of other spirals in nature. I wish she had gone further! Spirals are a huge part of nature, from the Fibonacci number to the Galaxy, spirals are everywhere. Our babies spiral (somewhat) as they are born of us, performing the cardinal movements as they emerge. Certainly spiraling our hips can assist the baby in his or her rotations and eases the discomfort of labor.

Which brings me to bellydance. I was lucky enough to begin bellydancing when I was pregnant with my son, ten years ago. Little did I know the huge connection between this ancient art form and birth. Many believe that bellydance, or raqs sharki, was the original childbirth preparation. I always say that the sounds and movements that get the baby in, also get the baby out. So the undulations, and certainly the spiraling of one's hips aid labor. Plus, it feels good and makes you feel sexy even when you're fifty pounds heavier than usual with gigantic ankles! It's a lovely almost perfect form of low impact exersize that looks great if you're a sylph or a goddess sized woman. (I tend to believe that goddess size women are particularly beautiful when performing bellydance, it's mesmerizing). Trilling, ululating, or zagareeting (all different words for the same vocalization) too play a part in birth. Women ululated during a friend or family member's labor and it's said that when they hit a certain pitch, it would resonate throughout the laboring woman's body, erasing the pain! Having used a LOT of vocalization during my labor, I can attest to the fact that there are certain pitches (low, long, loose) that decrease pain and some (high, tight) that increase it.

Bellydance is finally becoming more mainstream, women in the smallest town can order bellydance DVDs off the interenet, or find a class at the local community ed center. Bellydance in birth is becoming more popular too. Here are a few websites to look into to better acquaint yourself with the art of bellydance. Hope you enjoy them and happy shimmying!

http://www.visionarydance.com/BDPregnPage.html

http://www.thegoddessdancing.com/belly_dance_and_birth_references.htm

http://www.bellydanceforbirth.com/

http://www.merrybellies.com/prenatalbellydance.htm

First Post

Here's a little something I submitted to Hip Mama magazine, it was summarily rejected but who better to receive a rejection letter from than Ariel Gore herself! I'm not hatin' I just know I've got to tighten up my style. Still I hope someone finds it useful.


As in Labor, so in Parenting

Nothing prepares a woman for parenthood so well as labor. As in parenthood in labor we are asked to do the impossible, as in parenthood, in labor endless resources are required of us: patience, energy, strength, courage, compassion. And as in parenthood no amount of reading, classes or well meant advise can ensure a trouble free navigation of our experience but can only guide us and give us an idea of the endless choices available to us.

Both labor and parenthood require amazing flexibility. We must always be ready to admit "this isn't working, now what?". My son is profoundly dyslexic and we've been facing difficulties lately. Simply telling him to clean his room is an insurmountable challenge. I'm learning that every small step must be broken down to it's very smallest component. It's frustrating, and sadly I came to this revelation only after years of nagging, anger, and disappointment over the child he is and grieving the child he is not. And how many women have been "stuck" in labor at three or seven centimeters? For hours and hours they may try rocking in a chair, or on their hands and knees before they come to the conclusion that "this is not working" and they begin to squat or lunge or attempt some other trick which helps turn the baby and they begin to dilate once more.

In labor and parenting each stage brings it's own joys, fears, and sorrows. We open and let go, open and let go. Opening our hearts and setting ourselves up for the inevitability of the pain of rejection and change. When parenting, we can close ourselves down, make ourselves hard and unyielding, when faced with teenage rebellion, a toddler's tantrum, a child's whine, how easy it is to do so! But we learn from our labor lessons that the more tense we are the more painful contractions feel. We learn to relax into contractions, opening our throats and pelvises, softening our jaws, dropping our shoulders along with our defenses. What if we responded to the pain of parenting in the same way? What if we listened instead of shutting down? What if we opened our hearts instead of hardening them?Both parenting and labor require tremendous sacrifice. The unexamined use of medication in labor can cause more problems than it solves, but it can require iron resolve not to use it. The constant needs of an infant can exhaust us and it sometimes requires our very last bit of strength to resist giving a bottle of formula. Dealing with adolescent surliness can drain us to the last ounce of our compassion and still, in all scenarios, more is required of us, and then yet more.


Labor is an ecstatic, painful, messy, beautiful, difficult, joyous experience. So is parenting; but only when we do so with love, the support of others and often a great deal of equal parts grace, humor, and mental toughness. And never imagine that you will be the perfect parent or have the perfect labor. Let go of perfection and instead, reach for something better: your own imperfect, loving, humbling, stunning, miraculous, authentic experience.